Awkwardness Galore! Lets see how long I'll last
by The-Council-with-Queen-Crimson
Summary: It sucks when my girlfriend breaks up with me then leaves the country to get away from me. Then it is awkward when said ex-girlfriend mother gets cursed by another goddess, and has to take up my kitchen table as she tries to find a cure. Just to make it worse, If ex-girlfriends mother doesn't find the cure, she will slowly lose her wisdom, Now I have to help her find the cure!
1. Chapter 1

**this has been requested by several so i decided to do it**

**This is PercyxAthena, if you don't like it, at least try it but do not go bashing in a review. If this is not your cup of tea then don't ruin other peoples moods over it.**

**I don't own Percy jackson.**

**Now to the Story **

PERCY POV

_"But I didn't do any of those things, not a one"_

_"I'm sor… No I'm not as you have no alibi, So you can go die, I wouldn't care"._

The memory scored my brain as I just wished I could explain things to her but she was already gone, off to a college all the way in Britain, at one of the best Architecture universities. She was going to pursue her dream while I at the moment did not pursue anything at all. It was haunting how much my life came crashing down around me, but maybe its time I finally let go of the demigod life, no monster really wanted to attack me anymore, I was no longer easy pray, and camp half-blood is busy with so many new campers that I would be just a burden.

Still It was camp 3 months ago, for some reason girls gave me weirder and weirder looks like I was food or something. After that the rumors spread like wildfire, stuff like I called Annabeth a stuck up book snob, others more violent ranged to I was sneaking out of camp to have my way with mortals or I was doing it with water nymphs. One word, WHY, Why would people do that but unfortunately it was getting to Annabeth. Then the worst happened Annabeth put in a sketch design for a competition being held at national level, and she got 2nd place. the judges comments was "it seemed rush, too much Water themes" The reason it was rushed was because I surprised her with a trip to Montauk and well she had no time for the design and her design are always similar to her surroundings. So It summed up to my fault and it was a major hit to her pride. So weeks later she dumped me as her pride ate away at her.

Annabeth had moved on, now it's time for me too as well. I yelled out loud "its my time to move on"

"SILENCE"

Did I mention that because of where I live, it was like 'hiding from the gods' Heaven, Portland Oregon, and the best place for older demigods; no one knows that because of all the craziness. It all goes to a demigod can blend in with complete ease. Well It also means that god or goddess can hide as well. So for reason unknown, Athena had taken up my kitchen table with some type of potion looking thing she was working on that was top-secret aka She's hiding from Aphrodite.

I decided against better judgment, to poke my head over the side of my green with wine design couch and look at the seemingly frustrated Goddess, it actually looked like she didn't understand something, Making sure I could jump if need be I stated "maybe its time for you to take a break before you burn a hole in that book" maybe it was more books as there was a lot on my kitchen table, almost all of them were open.

I was right to get ready to jump away if need be, as A spear flashed into Athena hands and without even looking she launched it at me with the force of a air cannon. The spear was pure gold with a bronze head and a silver olive tree design on it. It was also very sharp as I jumped backwards crashing onto the black rugged floor, the spear pierced through MY couch and just barely stopped as the tip pressed against my chest. The glint of the metal shined in my eye as I tried to back away from close death, tiny bit of blood traveling from where the spear tip touch me, that spear was like surgeon's knife, not fun at all to get it thrown at you.

I yelled with my voice cracking with the slight adrenaline now flowing in my veins "Not cool, Not after I let you take up my kitchen table". With that I used the spear to sit up. I ripped the spear the rest of the way through the couch and stood shaking the yellow foam off of the stupid spear then shook it in Athena direction growling "Hey listen to me".

She looked up at me, noticing the spear and the blood, she simple shook her head and went back to work. I huffed "Pmsing Goddess" She suddenly straighten and glared at me "What did you say" hey I hit a button got to note that for the future, how to get Athena attention, call her a PMSing goddess.

I responded lightly as I finally could be a bit of a smartass "Only if you were listening like I asked, you would know". The glare I received reminded me that she was the one that made Medusa, the monster she is now.

I began to walk for the small kitchen to the side of the Dining Table, I counted how many books were on it, I counted 25 and most were open. It looked like chaos to the point I wondered how the even the goddess could keep up with the disaster. Still as I passed, I removed my shirt so that I could wash of the blood.

_HAHA_

Athena POV

I looked over just in time to see Perseus remove his shirt. I could tell the potion Aphrodite infected me with spike in blood making me close to blush. Damn her, She gave me a Love potion with a catch, the catch being if I don't truly love someone then my intelligence gets chipped away at. I have already lost 5 percent of my intelligence, still far more superior then most but still I didn't like it. I also knew little on potions as I studied them almost 1000 years ago. I had tried to Hecate help with potion making but Aphrodite had already thought of paying out the Goddess. Hecate was able to give me books but counter Potions were hard to make.

The reason I was here in Portland Oregon is one of the few places in the world that has such a odd aura that anyone could hide in the city including Gods, so since I am on a time crunch I pulled in a favor that Perseus owed me, even after his rather sad break up. Why was it sad, oh right cause my daughter was the fool and wouldn't listen to reason. I even know why. The reason is because Aphrodite got sick of Percy and Annabeth being together, and wanted something new for Percy.

Perseus piped up "You know that if you take a break from this, you might just be able to figure out what is up, Get a outside view since right you are in midst" I shouldn't have let him get wise at all, now he is trying to tell me what to do and it's making sense. Looking at the disaster in front of me, I inquired 'What should I do then?" I looked at Perseus to see him give me a rolling eye look.

He spoke like he was trying to sell something "You are the city of the weird, were voodoo donuts live, were there is naked bike races every year (AN This is fact, June 8th this year is the naked bike race), which is today" I butted in with "I'd rather not" he continued "Didn't think so, but there is movies, food, entertainment, all outside that door so go" he pointed to his sea blue door that was at then end of the living room.

I countered "I have never been to Portland, actually I tried to avoid this place since the mortals are so odd, so I don't know the city".

Again he sales pitched "You got a local right here' then he realized what he had just agreed to and frowned rather large, especially when he saw my smirk. Maybe I could distract myself from the potion by messing with Perseus like old times.

**REVIEW OR ATHENA SPEAR MIGHT JUST COME OUT OF THE PAGE**


	2. Chapter 2 Cafe then A Call from Work

**Whoo, I seriously thought this story would flop and die, but you all surprised me with how much you liked it. **

**Though sorry this chapter took a little bit, I got caught up with my other story but I promise, promise, promise that this story won't be ignored.**

**Now then, I do need a editor since I have trouble with some stuff and some times I do not catch it, so I would love an editor. Now the perks to being one is you have direct input into the story, you'll be acknowledges, and lastly I always do some editing before I send it too you so not to hard. **

Athena PoV

The wind howled but it seemed to the Portlanders that they did not mind the wind, or the cold, or the rain, or even the rather depressing look of the sky. One male even ran past in just shorts letting the rain pelt him as he run to who knows where. I looked at Percy to see him in just a green Tee and jeans, I would stick out like a sore thumb with me being gray jacket with the hood up, a scarf on and some dark jeans, I may be a goddess but I still can feel the cold against my skin. I gave a huff, which clouded my vision for a second as the air filled with fog like smoke. This place truly was the oddest city in America, as it was close to freezing with rain and people ran in shorts.

The Portlanders made up for the lack of sun with color everywhere, it seemed almost like there was a law that buildings have to have color, but there was an occasional bank that was gray in the rainbow of color. Percy began to walk with me following him, I voiced things I did not want to run into or go into "Please.." but before I could list one Percy stated "We are going to a library café, so no need to list off a billion places you don't want to go" wow maybe after years he has figured out how to use his peanut brain of his.

I asked out of curiosity "How is it living in Portland." Since from what I have seen it has to be very odd to live here with such diversity and change from the usually.

He laughed, "better then living in Vancouver" he turned to see the look I was giving him. This must be some social joke that people from Portland have or something, cause I do not get it. He sighed a big heavy sigh, which from experience of me giving it, it was a "this is his fifth time explaining something' sigh "ok Vancouver is right over the river in Washington, well when someone of Vancouver takes a vacation to the North east coast and tries to explain where they live it goes like this

'I live in Washington."

Other person say 'Washington D.C, oh how..'

'No Washington like in Vancouver Washington'

'You live in Canada'

'No the one by Portland'

'I am confused so you live in Maine now'

'NO! I Live in Vancouver, Washington, in the United States of America, on the damn west coast, You Yankee'"

(**This Seriously happens, it's so sad and sometimes it's even harder to explain then this example**)

I had to laugh, poor city, it has the worst name in history, well no there are worse names but this city has an identity crisis for sure, if it takes more than one question to figure out where they live. I watched as a car passed with a sticker even saying "_Change Vancouver to Fort Vancouver_". Percy grumbled with a slight growl "like that will help might even complicates things even more, with people going 'So you live in a fort'" I laughed even harder, maybe a little too hard a I snorted ever so slightly,

Slowly I turned me head to see Percy mouth screwing up as he tried not to laugh at me, but as I glared, it broke him and he began to laugh like no tomorrow, causing him to stumble on the sidewalk. He raised a finger as he managed "ok I'm stopping" well he didn't and broke into a laugh once again. My head filled with ways that I could kill him without Poseidon knowing it was I, unfortunately it seems that Aphrodite potion is really taking effect, as most of the plans would give me away.

What had to be the Café Percy was talking about came into view, Its name was 'Donuts, Coffee, and Books', and I could already see the bookcases inside filled over the brim with books of all selections. The building was a couple stories tall with what had to be apartments above the store, it was made of red brick but the side of the building as it was on a corner, was covered in a mural of the stereotype gang member, dressed in black with a black hat and black cover over his mouth, but he was holding up a book like it was holy, The words 'Read Or Fall' was above the mural.

Percy walked a little faster and held the door to the café open and stated "sorry for laughing" I just walked in and gave him no heed. Looking around I saw that the café walls were painted a deep forest green but most of the walls were covered in old pictures or paintings, even some 70's advertisements. The floor was rocky reddish brown tile that transferred to dark blue green carper were the bookcases were, there was 4 rows of bookcases, and two bookcases per row, but opposite to the bookcases was the counter with a hot case filled with pastries, next to that a cold case holding chocolates and ice creams. At the end of the counter was the register where a brunette with her hair tied up into a bun with two strands lose, then she looked like she had boyish figure.

Percy greeted the women like they were old friends "hey, Kris, how's business going?"

The women, Kris, turned she had deep brown eyes almost black, she sent back "Yo Percy, business is alright wish people came hear to read not just for the pastries like you"

He took slight offence and raised his hands "I am dyslexic. I can't read, and reading is boring" oh now I want to slap him, Kris saw this and chuckled "might want to take that back, Perce" he slowly turned to see me glaring at him, he gave a smile before darting to one of the tables next to the register.

_HAHA_

Percy POV

I slowly sat back in my chair, as Athena went to raid the small library. I am so glad I know this place so well, This use to be where Annabeth and I went after work, even after the horde break up, I still love this place so much. It was always was calm and quite thanks to Kris, she hated when people talked really loud so she put up signs by the door saying, "This is a Library as well". She even has a cranky old Librarian who is in the corner of the library section, making sure no one talks even a inch too loud. The quite is why I like this place so much, and also the pastries that Kris hand makes.

Suddenly Kris asked "The usual, or do you want to finally spice up your life?" Kris humor was like that of crud way but she managed to never offend anyone with it.

I countered "Nah, I'll stay with my usual, the one time I dived from it, I saw you and your boyfriend sucking face on the side of the building" Kris didn't seem to be embarrassed at all, she was just like that. Her boyfriend, if he was here, would have turned into a tomato; he was the guy that would blush at the little of tease. His name was Jeffery or Jeff, he was the nerd of high school, and I always question him and Kris relationship as they both seem like polar opposite, he is quite, she is loud, he is nerdy, she is only semi-nerdy, they both are at each other throats about the café. He thinks that they should hire more people but Kris pride makes it close to impossible for her to admit she needs help. During their arguments over the café, somehow I was always get dragged into the middle.

My thoughts were shattered as a big thud made me jump, Athena had come back with a multitude of books ranging from physics to evolution, I asked in Greek "You know those things are false" Kris looked at me hating that I spoke another language in her café so she couldn't eavesdrop.

Athena, a little pompous, commented in Greek "I want to see how far off they are" I wonder how full of herself she is, could she fill a kiddy pool with her pompousness, or a semi-big pool, a big pool, or an Olympic size pool. I bet Olympic because they had get the name from somewhere.

Kris came from around the counter and set down several maple donuts, I thanked her then asked "still warm"

She, with a slight laugh in her voice, shrugged "Microwave warm" good enough. I began to eat my maple donut by ripping of a piece then popping it into my mouth. For some reason that is just how I eat my donuts. I saw that as she opened the physic book, Athena gave me a questioning look with which I responded, "Just how I do things".

After A little more eating, or reading in Athena case, which I really do not consider getting away from her stump but she was laughing at mortal thoughts. Kris motioned for me to come over, I did and she whispered "is she your new target" dear god no, I was not, under no circumstances going to date my ex girlfriends mom, but I couldn't tell Kris that cause Athena looks to be 19 at the moment not old enough to be the mother to Annabeth. So I told the truth that I could "No no no no, she is close to my ex-girlfriend"

Kris reasoned, well what she thought was reasonable "I took my boyfriend from a kinda friend, though she was a bit of a bitch but still, just because your ex-girlfriend knows the girl doesn't make her off limits" it does with the way they know each other but I give and I am not going to even try to explain to Kris why I can't date Athena.

My phone suddenly started to ring loudly and I heard the old crank librarian yelled, "Turn it off or answer it, chose one or the phone mine" creep, but still I still answer it "hello, This is Percy Jackson"

My coworker, yes coworker as a month ago I started to work at the new Portland aquarium as a manager, well my coworker started to blabber off "Dude someone fell into the shark tank and now is threatening to sue, we need your help". How did someone fall into the shark tank? Unless they fell through glass in which we should have been informed of this condition they have or more realistically they were on the feeding deck, which is employees only.

I calmed down my coworker "Calm down, I will be there soon, so just keep them there tell I arrive".

"Alright I will, but still dude we can't afford a law suit"

As I closed my phone to end the call, Athena asked, "What's happening"

I quickly explained as I thought of the quickest way to get to the aquarium "Someone fell into the shark tank at my work, and now is threatening to sue, so I have to get there, you know how to get back to my apartment?" I ignored the look that Kris was giving me about both the group of things I said, I serious had no time to dilly-dally.

Athena stated, "I could help". Might as well accept the help, so I motioned her to follow while I paid Kris for the donuts. As we exited the Café, Athena looked around then dragged me to the nearest ally before warning "Flashing" crud, flashing for demigods always made us feel slight sick to our stomachs as our organs seemed to play musical chairs and our stomach was always left without a chair.

I closed my eyes as we flashed, it took two breathes to appear where we wanted to be, so after two I opened my eyes to see the entrance to the aquarium, a couple years ago it looked like a strip mall but after some millionaire saw big bucks, he transformed it into this basically mini sea, it was bigger then the mall near by. So with how huge it was, it had a shark tank half the size of a Olympic pool.

I muttered "Time to see the moron who feel into the shark tank".

**Review or you shall fall into the shark tank!**

**Percy "By me"**

**Yes Percy will throw you in**


	3. Chapter 3 A snotty lawyer

**Hahaah. Ok I was given a prompt for this chapter including the words "Lawyer" "weed" "little boy". Now I could have taken this so many ways but I decided to take the tamer route. If you don't know what I mean, you have been saved and have not had the unfortunate event of looking over a friends shoulder when they are on tumblr. **

**I was scared now the reason it has taken me so long to update is that I have been having headaches for a week (the week before this one) then when that ended, I got sick sick. It sucks.**

**Also If you want me to do a prompt like the one you have seen, leave it in a review cause I still have no clue where I am taking this story. It can only be up to 5 words and try to keep PG-13, please!**

**Now to the story!**

Percy POV

You have got to be kidding me; a big snot of a kid fell into the shark tank, and now is suing us for his own stupidity. He now is trying to blame it all on us because he fell in, I feel like I want to strangle him. Well he was on the feeding deck that says specific no one aloud except employees. Suddenly an idea popped into my head, I looked at the equally snotty, kid's lawyer "Are you informed that your client broke rules before going onto the feeding deck?"

The kid's lawyer had short brown greasy hair, a fat face and body; finally he was dressed in a black and white suit that doesn't fit, honestly the boy and the lawyer looked exactly the same except for age and weight. He talked to the boy in whisper then wheezed to me in a superior tone "My client didn't see these signs you speak of, so they must not fit safety laws" then he sat back making the buttons on his belly strain to stay on.

Athena, who had been looking at the footage from our hidden camera, swung the computer screen around "That's a lie by your client; Here it clearly shows him looking around for cameras then hitting the sigh as he passed" she played the video showing the kid walking on to the deck, hit the sign, then going onto the deck that visible tilted because of him walking on the edge and with the feeding deck in off position causing him to fall in.

The kid got up out of the chair surprisingly fast and started yelling looking extremely mad that he got caught but it almost seemed feign "Where was that Camera, ya fa**** and B****?"

I slammed my hands down really offended the snot of a kid even used that type of language around me, especially when he used it with people he didn't even know. Still even if I yelled at this kid, it would do nothing at all, he most likely would hear worse at his school. As I felt the prickle of power, I knew that Athena did not at all like being called by the name the boy used.

It seemed even for mortals, the kid and The lawyer looked at Athena fearfully sensing her power. Slowly looking myself I say that Athena was close to going in her true form but she controlled herself, stood then whispered to the boy "You are using words that you don't even know the meaning behind so I will suggest that you stop, now if you don't listen to me I'll give you a couple statistics just for fun. Do you know that more than 6,000 killers get away with murder every year in the U.S, 900,000 people go missing most never found."

The Lawyer wheezed loudly "Are you threatening my client with murder?" though the lawyer resolve broke as he watched Athena get a sickeningly sweet smile on her face. I was almost convinced that the lawyer was close to a heart attack with how unaffected he saw Athena was to his accusation. What they didn't know was that Athena could very easily get away with murdering them both, and they wouldn't even see it coming.

Athena cooed "Ohh That was your idea, I was just blabbering off stats, no need to think so ill about your client now, they do say that everything a person asks or says means something to their psyche". She had twisted his accusation so simple and so well that the kid looked at his own lawyer like a murderer.

Time to turn things back to what the true problem we still have; I demanded "Now we have a damaged a feeding deck and a couple rather boggled sharks, Your client will contact his parents and tell them about what he has done and how they will have to pay damages".

The lawyer sighed slumping knowing how beat he is, he stated seeming to lose his wheeze of superiority "I am the father, how much?" well that takes all the fun out of seeing the kid squirm. But maybe it all wasn't over "then he calls his mom" as usual Athena comes up with a plan. I grabbed the phone from right by my computer and hand it to the boy, who gives me the most pitiful begging glance. No matter what I still shoved the phone in the kid's hands.

I looked around my office as the kid typed the numbers in ever so slowly. The room was small barely fitting the chairs on both sides of the desk that was about 3 by 5 feet. The room was light blue but most of the walls were covered in cabinets filled with papers, documents, and 3-d designs of fishes. The carpet was this awful gray color clashing with my tan desk and the wall color. My office was really a mixed matched mess but at least I have a window.

The sound of ringing drew my gaze back to the boy as he squirmed; this was for breaking rules. The ringing stopped and I heard an angry voice, it just got worse as the boy began to explain what had occurred. My resolve broke as the women continued to yell like a banshee at the poor boy.

I asked the father "what's your income?" he looked a little shocked at the question but quickly answered before listening in again. His family got in about 300,000 dollars; 200 dollars for fixes can't be that much to them. Suddenly I remember how I learned that most bullies had sucky lives at home, being bad in hopes the parents will notice them and continue to notice them when they do, do good things.

I have too much of a soft heart, I grabbed the phone from the boy and greeted "hello ma'am, I am the manager of the aquarium, Now I understand your anger, having to pay things you don't want to, always sucks but here is the thing. To stop future damages I want to just suggest you ask your boy why he did it".

With that I handed the phone back and heard the mom take a breath and ask, "Why did you do it".

The boy cried "Because daddy told me too so that he could get money through the law suit then use it to by that plant, I saw him earlier buy some on the way to the aquarium". Plants? Could he possible mean weed, was the dad seriously making it so The boy hurt himself so he could have his weed.

Suddenly The father tried to lunge at The boy while yelling "Traitor" but he was very slow while Athena was fast. She gave the father a upper cut before he could even try to do anything. The poor little boy squeaked in fear before beginning to sob to his mom "Daddy tried to hurt me, they stopped him but still!"

I heard the mom talking calmly to the boy trying to calm him down as I checked out the passed out father, it looked like his nose was close to gone with how now sunken it was because of where Athena punched him. Remembering Athena I looked over to her to see a disgusted face. She saw me staring a raised her hand right when a piece of snot feel off from the father nose. I gagged "Ohh gods that's disgusting".

Athena grabbed a tissue from my Finding Nemo tissue box, and whipped it off her hand "Tell me about it, Never have I had some snot get on me from a punch". I could not resist "From a punch?" She looked at me with a raised brow "I do have my children for a little bit and Babies are always snotty no matter whose kid they are."

I was pulled away from my conversation to see The kid pulling at my pant leg and holding up the phone. I picked it up the phone and greeted "Yes, This is the manager".

"Hello, This is Matt's Mother, I would like to ask that you get the ****** away from my boy".

I soothed "Yes Ma'am, Anything else". This had to be the most messed up situation I have been in, in a long time involving mortals. Some days I wonder why I ever agreed to live in Portland when stuff like this happens way to often.

The Mom finally stated, "No, I am just a couple minutes away now, just make sure my boy is safe, that man thought I was away from a business trip, I was hoping to catch him before something like this happened".

**REVIEW**

**Percy "yes cause you get to actually have a huge pull in what happens"**

**Athena "that's a bad thing especially if we have Tumblr fans"**

**Percy "What's the word for judging a person for what site they are on?"**

**Athena "Prejudice"**

**Percy "yeah your being that"**

**Athena "How did my daughter put up with you"**

**Percy "how do you?"**

**Athena "I don't know"**

**Apollo "Oh Myself, Athena doesn't know something"**

**Percy and Athena "Get out ya loner"**

**Apollo *whimpers as he walks away**

**Well this has gotten random so to remind everyone review**


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